• Nail polish can run as fast as 12km/h 
  • Ants can't grow mustaches in Texas
  • You can't have soup without a dial tone
  • Japanese cars don't speak Spanish
  • Porcupines don't pay their taxes 
  • You can only color fire green
  • African Bananas are illegible for RRSPs
  • The Moon had a crush on Jupiter
  • MySQL is left handed
  • Squirrel can't fly first class on Air Canada
  • Trees have higher GPA
  • Expensive highlighters can cheat death
  • Car rims do not spin when you are not looking
  • Your president knows what you do in the shower
  • It takes three Wednesdays to eat an apple
  • Surprisingly, my boss doesn't like to be ironed
  • iPhone4S father is Mexican